Free Fridays

Almost every Friday, we have the awesome privilege of spending time with our mentor, discipler and friend, Pastor Chilly Chilton. We get to spend a few hours learning from, and prodding into, one of the most Christ-like men we have ever known. That type of discipleship is priceless, and when taken seriously has the potential to create an explosive move of God. We usually meet at a local StarBucks and do what he calls Free Friday. Basically, we have a few hours to talk. No topic list, no outline, and no adgenda other than one: Discipleship. We get to spend these moments learning from a man who is both wiser, and farther in his walk with God than ourselves.What usually desides the topic of the conversation is what God has been stirring in our hearts and lives. Other the last few months we have been able to make quite a compilation of amazing lessons, quotes, analogies and the like.

One of the major examples in leadership that Pastor Chilly has taught us over the past few months of Free Fridays is the value of discipleship. He values the purpose that God has for our lives and plays a major role in our growth and developement... and it shows. Through the time that he has poured into us, through the widsom, and passion we have gained an example, when it comes to mentorship, to follow in our own lives. We are so very thankful.

On a specific occasion, while talking about the fruits of the spirit, Pastor Chilly said: "We're not an apple tree, an orange tree, or a pear tree... we're a tuti-fruiti tree... we get all of them." Many times, we try to work on patience, or kindness, or faithfullness; when really it's the Holy Spirit that produces those fruits in our lives. Pastor Chilly explained to us how we don't need to pursue right behavior, or a good character; because, we can't do any of that suff on our own. "When we try to produce fruit, it's wax fruit – it looks the same, but when you bite in, there's frustration rather than nutrition" (Pastor Chilly). Instead of trying by our own means, we need to pursue Jesus, and the Holy Spirit will produce all that good stuff in us. We're also not limited to just one fruit of the spirit. I'm not a joyful person lacking self-control, and I'm not a loving person that can't wait for anything. I just need to be an obedient person, then I'll be all of those things.

There is also an analogy that Pastor Chilly gave us during another Free Friday. It was the story of an eagle, you see, eagles have the potential to live up to 75 years; but most die around 40. This is because when they reach that age something begins to happen, they get old. Their beaks become hooked, their talons become dull, and their feathers get musty. They lose the ability to hunt, to eat, and to fly. But, there is a process some choose to go through to extend their lives by another 30 years. First they break their beaks off, the bird will repeatedly smash it beak against a stone until it breaks off. Then they smash the claws against the stone breaking them off as well. Once this is done the bird cannot eat, it has to go a several weeks without food. Once the eagle's talons have regrown it is then able to pluck out its dead feathers and take flight again, good as new. Now, you may be asking what does any of this have to do with discipleship? Each of us here has the opportunity to totally skip this long process of pain later in life. Each one of us has access to a man that’s screaming to us, sharpen your claws, scrape your beak daily, and pluck your dead feathers it will prevent a world of suffering later. We have the ability to hear a wisdom that can only come from God and we need to make the most of it. If we do we have the potential to fly for a lifetime.

Without question, Free Friday has been one of the most significant times while being here in Xmin for all of us students. We have been able to personally connect with Pastor Chilly and individually grow in our walks with Christ. We are able to ask him any questions we want, or talk about whatever subject we have in mind. We have a great time just chillin' with our pastor, and when we go to leave our meeting spot, usually Starbucks, we are barely ourselves, because we've been so convicted by the Holy Spirit speaking through him.

Your favorite Xmin students,
April, Jay, Joe, and Zack



Also, for your enjoyment, here are some other good quotes:
"There's not resistance in grace, there's resistance in holiness. But, you've got to be holy to be like Jesus."
"I want to keep making testamonies, not telling them."
"Love figures out a way to love them better"
"Disciples never give up! They get knocked down, then they get up and punch the challenge in the face. NEVER stop serving courageously."

Opportunities

I have been studying the South Asian culture, and I just finished a research paper on it. For my paper I interviewed a few different people that either have lived in a south Asian country, or have family from there.

One of the people I interviewed was really unexpected. When I spoke with her I didn’t even intend to use anything we talked about for my paper. I was walking down Joseph Campu to CVS to get some photos printed, this girl was standing by the bus stop, I felt inclined to speak to her, so I did.

She told me her name was Fatima Chowdhury. I know a few people with that same last name so I asked her where she was from. She told me Bangladesh. So then we talked about the research paper that I was doing on South Asia. One thing led to another and she told me all about her life; her dreams, family, values, beliefs, and what she does in her free time.

Towards the end of the conversation I was able to tell her about myself. I told her about where I used to live, my family, what I value, my beliefs, and who I live my life for, Jesus. That was one thing that she didn’t mention. She had no sense of purpose in her life. I am so thankful for that opportunity. I was able to ask her for things that I could be praying for her about, she was more than willing to tell me.
I hope that one day we will meet again.

East to West

I don’t normally listen to Casting Crowns, but tonight at prayer, I heard this song, and it totally made me think.

I had just gotten done with praying for this woman that I know of who is really suffering from withdraws. She is really battling her flesh! She is in a ton of pain, surrounded by problems that seem to be unmanageable in her family, suffocated by the influence of her addiction through so called friends, and crawling to Jesus.

She is determined to stay close to him, but she is listening to lies that the enemy is putting into her head. All I know is that the voice of truth will have the victory in her life. And that downward spiral of wickedness will have no authority in her life. Truth overcomes, and that is what she will follow.
Thank you Jesus.

EAST TO WEST Casting Crowns
Here I am Lord and I’m drowning
In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where you found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight
I know you’ve cast my sins as far
As the East is from the West
And I stand before you now
As though I’ve never sinned but today
I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way
Jesus can you show me
Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other
I start the day the war begins
And less reminding of my sin
Time and time again
Your truth Is drowned out by the storm I’m in
Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way
I know you’ve washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can’t live by what I feel
But by the truth your word reveals
I’m not holding on to you
But you’re holding on to me
You’re holding on to me

just do it

God has really teaching me to do things that I don’t want to do. It’s not that I don’t want to do these certain things; it’s just that I am extremely uncomfortable doing them. Realizing this I was much more aware when these situations would come up; the situations that I would back myself back from, and be hesitant to take initiative in.

So God was really dealing with me, and several times this week I caught myself battling with my flesh. When I really didn’t want to do something, God made me aware that I needed to grow, and it was only happening so that I could do so.

When situations come up, situations meant to help others, etc., it is not just taking place to help that person, or to get something done, but to make you grow.

My mama

I have been trying to figure out what I am going to do for Mother’s Day. I was at the store yesterday trying to pick out a card. If you have never been in the card section at the groceries store, let me just tell you that it’s just as if you had walked into the card section, start looking at cards, not realizing the amount of time, just thinking it had been a few minutes, and then realizing that it had been almost an hour…That’s how it is (for girls at least).

If you haven’t got the idea yet, I spent a lot of time looking for a card to send to my mom. I didn’t find one. They were all really cheesy- “To the best mom ever!”, “To my best friend”… I figured that mother’s day is too important to pick up any card and send it to her as a symbol of my appreciation. She means more than that to me.

I’m so thankful for the relationship that has grown between my mother and I. I want to send her something that I know she will really love and enjoy.

Flowers, and a home made card.

Do something for you mom this Mother’s day!

More of God's presence

I’m so thankful that God uses us through our weaknesses, and I’m so thankful for what God is doing in my mom!

At the beginning of the year I was challenged by God. He brought up the way that I treated my mother while I lived at home (Champaign-Urbana IL). Let me just say that I was a jerk. I didn’t show her who Christ is for a second. I would always let my flesh get the best of me.

It made me wonder where my mom’s heart would be if I would have thought about the things I was saying. Anything that came to my mind would vomit out of my mouth (I didn’t have a thought filter at all…) . Not because she was necessarily doing anything wrong but because I had not let go of bitterness towards her from the past, and the things that I said were aimed towards the satisfaction of my flesh. I was pissed and I wanted to get back at her in a revengeful, deceitful manner.

God brought me to a place of repentance. He was leading me to call my mom and apologize to her. Not in a cheesy, weird sort of way, but really, from the bottom of my heart to say sorry. So I did.

Right now God is doing amazing things in my mom’s heart! I have been praying for her non-stop. She doesn’t know Jesus personally but I know that she will.
One of the reasons that I want to go back to Champaign-Urbana for the summer is because I know God wants me to make some relationships right (first my mother!).

James 4:7-10 (New Living Translation)

7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. 9 Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.

-We can be thankful for what God does, even in our mistakes.

Before I go back to Champaign-Urbana I need to make a statement of standards! Verse 7 says, “So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
I know if I don’t make standards I will just stand still in what God is doing, totally miss out on what he wants to do in me and through me. If I’m totally consumed in what I want, my desires, instead of the standards that God wants me to have I’ll miss out, and I am not okay with that.

Verse 8 says, “Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” How can I love people (like my mom) in the way that I should if I don’t love God to the extent that I should or desire to. It also says, “Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for the loyalty is divided God and the world.” I cannot be close to God and the world at the same time! So I needed (need) to stay focused on God-his purity, and stay undivided to the world. God has my attention! We are as close to him as we want to be!

Verse 9 says, “Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.” Wow, let me tell you. I was crushed. I had no idea what to do with myself when God convicted me of the hurt that I caused my mom. The fact that I thought I was living a Godly life, and not treating my mom like it was a horrible thought for me. It meant that the “mom issue” was only the start of the change that God was going to have to do. But, when we go to God (our daddy) sincere, softened in our tears, he gives us the joy again. My mom is my joy. There will be a greater amount of joy when she comes to the Lord!

Verse 10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.”
It all starts with honesty. You will never become humble in the lord if you don’t become honest with yourself. Let God point it out- he can (will) either fix it, get rid of it, or birth it or all of it.

Abrubt

Fridays are so awesome! They go by so fast. As the boys and I are cleaning the church, getting ready to go to Riley’s softball game, I was thinking about a few things:


*Only through the power of God, that I am able to attempt to live the message of the cross to it’s fullness.

*I am not so concerned with what I am going to do…Im more interesting in who Im becoming. I want to be a lover of God and people. What we do is not as important as who we are.