More of God's presence

I’m so thankful that God uses us through our weaknesses, and I’m so thankful for what God is doing in my mom!

At the beginning of the year I was challenged by God. He brought up the way that I treated my mother while I lived at home (Champaign-Urbana IL). Let me just say that I was a jerk. I didn’t show her who Christ is for a second. I would always let my flesh get the best of me.

It made me wonder where my mom’s heart would be if I would have thought about the things I was saying. Anything that came to my mind would vomit out of my mouth (I didn’t have a thought filter at all…) . Not because she was necessarily doing anything wrong but because I had not let go of bitterness towards her from the past, and the things that I said were aimed towards the satisfaction of my flesh. I was pissed and I wanted to get back at her in a revengeful, deceitful manner.

God brought me to a place of repentance. He was leading me to call my mom and apologize to her. Not in a cheesy, weird sort of way, but really, from the bottom of my heart to say sorry. So I did.

Right now God is doing amazing things in my mom’s heart! I have been praying for her non-stop. She doesn’t know Jesus personally but I know that she will.
One of the reasons that I want to go back to Champaign-Urbana for the summer is because I know God wants me to make some relationships right (first my mother!).

James 4:7-10 (New Living Translation)

7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. 9 Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.

-We can be thankful for what God does, even in our mistakes.

Before I go back to Champaign-Urbana I need to make a statement of standards! Verse 7 says, “So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
I know if I don’t make standards I will just stand still in what God is doing, totally miss out on what he wants to do in me and through me. If I’m totally consumed in what I want, my desires, instead of the standards that God wants me to have I’ll miss out, and I am not okay with that.

Verse 8 says, “Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” How can I love people (like my mom) in the way that I should if I don’t love God to the extent that I should or desire to. It also says, “Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for the loyalty is divided God and the world.” I cannot be close to God and the world at the same time! So I needed (need) to stay focused on God-his purity, and stay undivided to the world. God has my attention! We are as close to him as we want to be!

Verse 9 says, “Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.” Wow, let me tell you. I was crushed. I had no idea what to do with myself when God convicted me of the hurt that I caused my mom. The fact that I thought I was living a Godly life, and not treating my mom like it was a horrible thought for me. It meant that the “mom issue” was only the start of the change that God was going to have to do. But, when we go to God (our daddy) sincere, softened in our tears, he gives us the joy again. My mom is my joy. There will be a greater amount of joy when she comes to the Lord!

Verse 10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.”
It all starts with honesty. You will never become humble in the lord if you don’t become honest with yourself. Let God point it out- he can (will) either fix it, get rid of it, or birth it or all of it.