Tooth Paste Tragedy

The humor of children blows me away. I knew that my Christmas Eve would be exciting due to spending it with a house full of Italians, but it was far past my expectations.
I woke up to French toast for the second day in a row, so I knew the day was going to be amazing. Then after I took a “short” nap we loaded up the car around 1pm in the pouring rain. As it was pouring down outside we avoided ocean sized puddles in the drive way, stuffed the car very strategically with two tricycles, Crème Brûlée, and Miett’s amazing meatballs. It was a great start to the day.

We took about a ten-minute drive down the gorgeous country roads, oh how I miss them, and approached Miett’s sister, Jada’s house. When we pulled up to the drive way and we had to avoid ocean sized puddles once again. It was great. I walked inside and was embraced with love, and the sound of a little girl crying. I quickly learned that Emma, who is just pushing four, decided it would be a good idea to squirt toothpaste everywhere in the bathroom. This was the moment that I learned Emma and I would be great friends the rest of the night. All I have to say is that when I was a about her age, you would say that I loved to be the center of attention. Emma is the cutest thing to walk the earth (besides a million other little kids who have stolen my heart at one point or another).

The rest of the night I was surrounded by amazing food, games, laughter, coffee, great memories, and a little girl who reminded me of myself when I was her age. I couldn’t stop thinking, “I bet I was just like that!”

Every time I walked past Emma and her sister, Elena, who is about the same age, would call my name, grab my hand and demand that I come to the basement with them to play. How could a person resist? She looked so cute with her little arm on her hip, and it wasn’t like I didn’t want to see them ride around on their new tricycles so I went. I had a blast. They were cracking me up. Telling me jokes left and right. They mostly consisted of blurting out my name, and then trying to quickly figure out what to say, but they were hilarious.

My night ended with Elena asking me if I was her cousin. She was so confused when I told her no. Then she responded with, “Well, I love you.” It made my heart melt. Once again, just as the day began with good food, it ends with good food. It also ended with Singing Christmas songs on the way home (off beat and out of tune), and my favorite movie, the Christmas Story with my great friends and my Italian family.

God's peace is addicting.

It’s pretty crazy the way that Jesus has radically changed my heart. It’s totally on the other end of the spectrum. Most of everything is different my perspectives, my motives, my study time, and my prayer time. I can feel the Holy Spirit leading me like a puppet. Even though that is the life I should have been living I wasn’t. My life from September is the not same.

One of the main reasons why my life is so different is because I’m spending way more time in the presence of God than I have in a really long time. Prayer is the huge reason why I even came here in the first place and is the one of the main reasons how God continues to push me harder.

My prayer time has significantly increased since September. Not because it’s strongly encouraged, but because it’s become an addiction for me. Philippians 4:6-7 really had a huge part in this addiction. Paul says, “Don’t fret or worry, instead pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good will come and settles you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” When I read this I took it seriously. Why should I let anything or anyone have the center of my focus? I don’t know how I even let that happen, because God’s wholeness and peace in my heart is addicting.

Approaching Dedicated Determination

For the past few blogs my thoughts have been about Determination. That’s really what God has been putting on my heart. But I don’t think that I am totally determined like I want to be. So slowly but surely I am approaching dedicated determination.
At church on Saturday/Sunday the message was titled Blue Collar Faith. There were four main themes. They were Dedicated, Deliberate, Determined, Diligent, and Devoted. For the most part I could really grow in a lot of these areas. But as I asked myself which one I was, I chose Determination automatically.

As I thought about it more I noticed that I keep saying that I’m going to be more determined than I have been. It’s funny to me, but how do I get motivated about being determined?!

I learned that I have to be dedicated about my determination. What does that mean for me? I just need to remind myself everyday that God has given me boldness. Like Pastor Tj said, “We are so concerned about what we don’t have that we don’t se what God has given us.” God has brought me so far from where I was. And he continues to really push me harder every day. I need to focus on that. That’s how I will become dedicated to determination.

Be creative

Through out the week the students and I memorize seven scriptures a week and get tested on them every Friday. By the end of the year we will know hundreds. It’s crazy, but it’s our life. We have been in the program for two solid months plus a couple days. As of right now we probably have memorized, at one point or another, 60 to 65 scriptures.

I would have never thought that I could memorize all that I have so far. I found myself the past few weeks, except this past week, really struggling to keep all of the different scriptures in order. I keep getting the books, chapter, and verse numbers all mixed up. It felt like I couldn’t fit anything more into my brain.
This past week was different. I pushed myself further than I thought I could go. I realized that once you get to a certain point of no return. It’s reminds me running, at one point you get a second wind.

God has really been working on my heart the past few days about how I needed to give my all. I needed to really do my best for God. I wanted all of God but wasn’t willing to give him my all in return. It was selfish, and prideful. I thought I could do it all on my own.

So if any of you have any creative suggestions to memorizing scripture and keeping it all organized, let me know. I can use all of the help I can get. ☺

Get turning

With Christmas break coming up in two short weeks, I was looking at where I am spiritually. I realize that I am not where I wanted to be before Christmas break. I wanted to see a lot of things in my life that needed to change to be changed. I thought that I would have been completely turned from my old ways and mindset.

Now as I’m examining my heart I know that I have the determination to be finished with those old ways. I’m as close to God as I want to be. So If I I’m fed up with being a certain way, it’s my fault. I was really encouraged by Jeremiah 29:13-14, “When you call on me, when come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you wont be disappointed.”

God wants us to be serious about grabbing a hold of his passion, so lets do it guys. Lets grab a hold of the passion at all times, at Morning Prayer, during study time, when we clean the church, and during ministry times!

I was encouraged by Jeremiah 29:13-14 and I hope you are as well.

Delusional Conversations Due to Turkey, Love and Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving has always been a big thing with my family whether it consists of way too much food, or way to much arguing it’s always a big day. It wasn’t until this past Thanksgiving that I realized that my family didn’t see the fourth Thursday of November as big as Freddie’s family did.

It was a Thanksgiving of firsts. For the first time in my entire life I sat at the table with somewhere around 16-24 people that I was not related to. It was also my first Thanksgiving away from home.

It was so much fun. Freddie and her husband Mo invited me to stay with them over the few days that we were on break. I had a few opportunities; in between all of the moments of running around, to take a second or two to step back, absorb and relax. But in the moments of going place to place I was able to be a part of the dinner table. I was able to be a part of all the laughter from delusional conversations after eating too much turkey, love, and good memories.

I am so thankful for the willingness of Freddie, Mo, and their family of letting me be a part of the fun.

Our life.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

God’s Timing

With Thanksgiving coming up, like everyone else, I have been thinking a lot about what I am thankful for. I was reading Colossians 3:16-17 and it says, “Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. (Not just thankful words). And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” For me in my past I always found it easier to be thankful when things are going good, or what I thought was good, but was really just my way and my timing. I had to learn how to be thankful always because it’s not about me, and God has a greater plan for us than we could ever imagine.

I am thankful for where God has allowed me to be. I have to constantly look back in my journal at the places God has allowed me to go, and the things he has allowed me to do. As soon as I decided to follow Christ, I knew that I wanted to do nothing but speak the truth that was spoken to me to people who didn’t know it. I knew that I had this desire to reach God’s people for him. I always had all of these detailed ideas of what I was going to do after high school. They were things along the lines of being a missionary in Guatemala, or the Philippines. Or things like doing a Masters Commission program of some sort in places like Dallas, TX, Peoria, or Rockford, IL. Towards the end of this summer, which was right after high school, I realized that I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. I found that the things I thought I would be doing I wasn’t going to do most likely, and new doors were opening up. I realized that I was focused on myself. Though that realization I was going back and forth trying to figure out if I should stay home and do ministry there, or go to Detroit.

God took over my timing and turned it into his. I found myself in office. And in that office two very influential people in my life told me what God was impressing on their hearts, and it was the impression that I should come to Detroit. Soon after that happened I was talking to on of my great friends, Kelly Schwenk, and she said, “Man, I wish that two amazing spiritual leaders would speak into my life and tell me what decision to make!” After she said that I responded with, “Yeah, I know right! That would be so awesome.” She laughed and looked at me and said, “April, you’re blind. They did!” So I listened to them. I asked God to step in! I set a date, packed my bags. I had no money, but God is the provider, and I drove with a friend to Detroit for a program called XMin Academy.

I am so thankful for the leaders that God has placed in my life. 1 Thessalonians 5:12 says, “And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love!” I am thankful for God’s truth, and the way that he moves in us! God is doing amazing things in my heart. And Im also thankful for his timing and the amazing plan he has for us.

“God is not interested in our perfection, but in our direction.”

The past few Wednesdays at Total Forgiveness, God has been working in my heart so many different ways. This past week we talked about Matthew 6:9-15, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
The Message, 1 Timothy 3:16-17, says, “Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another-showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God’s way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.”

I believe that the Word of God is totally and completely true, it teaches us by exposing our sinful nature, and God delivers us through it! If I believe 1 Timothy 3:16-17, I am saying that I cannot leave any part of Gods word out. It is all meant to teach us, and bring us closer to God.

When I look at v. 14 and 15 I read, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

I have been ignoring verse 15. How did I do that? I expected God to forgive me for horribly wrong things but then when it comes to me forgiving others I found myself holding a grudge against people for the small things.

Pastor Tj mentioned that, “If we are being ministers of division, we are not ministers of Jesus.” I have to live and breathe forgiveness.

God has really been working in my heart. I know that because I found it hard and impossible to forgive myself, and others around me God couldn’t forgive me. Now that I am letting go of all of that and embracing forgiveness, I have been forgiven.

“God is not interested in our perfection, but in our direction.” –Pastor Tj

2 Corinthians 5:19-21

Sleep, Snooze and Repeat?

I will admit it, four out of seven mornings I will throw my alarm clock back up on the shelf that it sits after it goes off and sleep for another 5-10 more minutes. Most mornings it’s only a few minutes, but when I think about it, the time adds up. For the past month I have probably wasted hours.

Instead of having the snooze button in arms reach (which isn’t that far for my short arms), and staying in the glorious bed, I need to force myself to get out of the bed to turn it off. Instead of trying to get more sleep in the mornings, I am going to force myself to go to sleep earlier to get at least six or seven hours of sleep.

It’s going to take commitment. It’s going to be hard, but how do we expect to grow in the big things if we can’t do simple (that seem hard) tasks like getting out of bed?


If I make myself punctual at the beginning of my day I can see it through to the rest of my day as well. ☺ :)

I was the worlds heaviest, shortest person.

Two nights ago I was talking to my room mate, Erika. The last thing that we talked about, before falling asleep, was how I eat a million and 1 doughnuts...

I had a dream that night.

In my dream I was 5'1 and 800 pounds.

I was the worlds heaviest, shortest person. It was to the point that I couldn't get out of my house, so the fire department had to get a crane and lift me out of my house by removing the roof. (This next event is the part where you should refer to Willy Wonka.) I was so fat that I couldn't fit into any kind of vehicle so I was rolled down the one way street in front of my house.

I was so fat that I was on some sort of show like Oprah, and people started giving me money to have surgery to remove the fat from my huge body...

After the surgery I went from one extreme to the other. From 800 pounds to about 90 or so.

Lesson learned before reaching 800 pounds. I am done eating doughnuts.

procrastination, myself and I

About a million times a day literally, I find myself in the wonderful world of procrastination. Procrastination is boldly hidden in the middle of going to and from different events throughout the day, and assignments, during down time, free time and every second I realize that I am no where close to finishing the “To Do List” that I had set out to make. I am a recovering procrastinator.

Today while I was procrastinating from doing my weekly paper, I was reading How to Overcome Procrastination. One of the main topics that were absolutely huge for me was the concept of focusing on starting the task instead of getting overwhelmed by the idea of finishing it. The main idea behind all of this is that when we focus on all of the time that is going into finishing the task we get overwhelmed. It says, “Don’t focus on the finish line. Bring your focus from the future to what can be done right now.”

So when it comes to homework, a project around the house, or just your daily to do list, just focus on the beginning and work your way to the end.




Photo by: Andross

<3

Jesus provides!

Real Church is 5!

REAL Church 5th Anniversary from REAL Church on Vimeo.

Watch this. :)

Faith without deeds is dead.

I can’t imagine what faith without action. This morning I was reading in James and it stopped me. James 2:14-18 says, “ 14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. 18But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.” This totally reminded me of a song by Brooke Fraser called Albertine. Her main chorus says, “Now that I have seen, I am responsible, Faith without deeds is dead. Now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are.”

I love verse 18, how it says I will show you my faith by what I do. Mark 11:27-33 Reveals the tension between the thinkers and the doers, those who plan and those who act. I want to have a faith that is acting, and not in a numbing routine.

I really have no idea why it took me so long to realize that you have to act on and in your faith. It’s not that hard to get. Even Einstein understood. If he understands, then we all should be able to, right? He said, “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”
We have to step out of our routines, comfort zones, and step into the places that we don’t want to go, and into the places God wants us. We need to quit being so full of “us” or “I” and reach people, serve, and love them! Lets be like Jesus. I will have faith in action. If we don’t we have a dead faith!

It's like I'm walking in a series of different sized circles.

It seems like everywhere I turn I run into the idea of getting out of the routine. It’s everywhere, in teachings, conversations with different people, prayer, and devotions. It’s everywhere! This is a subject that Jesus has really working on my heart for a good and long while.

Routines are down right wrong, after a while you can sleep through what you’re doing because you know exactly how the story goes. I don’t want to be one of those people who are in ministry, I want to live ministry and I want to live like Jesus. The only way that’s going to happen is if I get myself out of this routine of doing things. Prayer at 9am has already started to become a routine for me. I noticed this morning when I started to do what I did yesterday, and the day before. How can I listen for God to speak if I’m focused on how I did things yesterday?

Jesus doesn’t want us to walk in circles. He wants us to be moved forward and the only way for that to happen is if we get out of the routine and let him move us.

Associated Thinking: Foundation

Have you ever played Word Association? It’s one of those games you play on long road trips that falls under the same category as the License Plate Alphabet game. The other day I played the Word Association game with The Detroit Free Press Newspaper. I chose one word and went with it. The word I chose was in bold, Detroit. I began to think out loud on paper. Writing words with bubbles around them and lines coming to and from them. I did that for a good five or ten minutes until I couldn’t possible think of anymore without going in circles.

Detroit obviously is a place so I started thinking about places I went and people I met, the things I was involved in. Then I started thinking about transportation. Then I randomly started thinking about Illinois, and how many states other than there I had been to. At the end of this adventure I realized how much time had past between all of those events. The things on my paper had all taken place in the past four to five years. While I was still word association mood I started thinking about how meaningful those past few years have been to my life. The most important things in my life happened in that short amount of time than in my whole life aside from the obvious, birth, digesting adult food, learning to speak, writing, reading, riding a bike etc. In the past few years I have really found out who Christ was, and who I wanted to be in him. I have learned how to love others, how to serve others, and how to worship.

During the journey on paper words would run into each other and some would take me in circles. When I was writing about the different places I have been and the things we did there the phrase God’s plan sprouted. From God’s plan different words sprouted from that, which were grace, love, experiences, and Detroit. God is so amazing. I realized how fast time goes by when you’re finding a foundation in Christ.

Trust faith not facts and feelings: A personal take away.

Trust faith not facts and feelings: A personal take away.

In part one of our sermon series, Meds, Pastor Chilly mentioned this as one of his points, trust faith, not facts and feelings. We need to trust God and not the situation, not how we feel, and not what other people are saying. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Man, is that good or what?!

All of that time wasted on “stress”. God wants us to pray about everything! He wants it. Normally we waste time trusting in ourselves, in others, and feelings. Absolutely nothing will give us peace but God.

CAUTION FLAMMABLE: EXCUSES, COMPLAINING, SELFISHNESS, FEAR, AND DOUBT
Excuses, complaining, selfishness, fear and doubt spread like wild fires. If you have ever been on a trip of some kind with more than yourself you know that once one person starts doing it, it’s like a sickness, everyone and their mother start making excuses, complaining, being selfish and surrendering to fear and doubt. That same wild fire, sickness spreads even when we are not on a trip. It happens all the time, everyday. We speak the language of excuse. We live off of complaints, and being selfish. We also tend to dwell in fear and doubt. When we start to make a habit of such things it becomes our environment, and we start to ignore everything that has to do with anything different, including the call that God has on our lives.
Last week sometime I heard one of Brian Houston’s podcast, the lead pastor at Hillsong Church. He said, “If you are in the place of excuses you will have every reason to turn back in the heat of the battle.” The heat of the battle that he is talking about is the call that God has on our lives and the path we take to reach it. We get so caught up on the ‘CAUTION FLAMMABLES’ that we loose sight. We totally miss the mark. The mark is the high calling, the dream, not drawing back into the past, seeing in Christ Jesus, understanding that there is going to be a price, and not making excuses. We have every reason in the book to miss the mark. What is it going to take for us not to miss what God has for us?!
All I know is that often times God gives us opportunities and they turn into our excuses. Brian said, “Own your heart!” Don’t give in to excuses, complaints, yourself, fear or doubt! We all have something in common, and that is the plan God has for us! Where are you standing in words of the mark?

simplicity and purpose without Jesus?

Simplicity, and purpose without Jesus?

About five years ago I was in this mindset to believe that you must go as far as you possibly can in life, and that distance is measured by how busy you are, how hard you work and how much you've have. This is still a mindset for many who are happy to buy in and do what it takes to maintain the upgradeable “happy” lifestyle. But there is a different lifestyle that I came to see. The lifestyle I’m talking about is the lifestyle of simplicity and purpose in Jesus. Thoreau caught a glimpse, but missed out on the Jesus part. He had a satisfaction with less, in the sense that less of pressure, intensity, busyness, self-determination, personal satisfaction, and spiritual fulfillment.

Thoreau believed that society caused people to wander through life aimlessly. By removing himself from the source of his aimlessness and retreating to the woods, he was able to think he had an idea of purpose. He chose to escape civilization and move to the wilderness for hunger of simplicity. He makes this very clear. He says, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”

His quote really had an effect of me. I went from thinking about the lack of Jesus in his life, and how he was a person that was searching for something different and all he needed was him, to wondering what kind of person he would have been with that foundation of God, and not trying to find a God in himself and simplicity. When I think of living deliberately I think of purpose in Jesus, the Great Commission. When I apply this quote to my life with Christ it challenges me. If you are living for Jesus you’re living deliberately, knowing the consequence with joy.

the oldest person

Growing up I never completely understood the importance of rules. I was confident that they were put in place to break. I heard a quote a long time ago, “The young person knows the rules, and the old person knows the exceptions.” Now looking back on all of the lessons that I have learned, I would have to say that person is wrong. There is a very important part left out. Not the old, but the oldest person knows why the rules were put into place. Last night in our X-Factor teaching Pastor Chilly mentioned something along the lines of traditions. He said, “Do not tear down the fence until you know why it was put in place.” We need to realize that goes along side with the subject of rules. We shouldn’t question to disobey rules until we know why they were put in place. When we know why they are in place, we still shouldn’t choose to disobey them. They are in place and that is all we need to know. When rules are not needed anymore they will be taken out of place. That is the importance of rules.

Rules that are in place were lessons that were once learned the hard way. In the past few weeks I have realized the importance of rules. They keep us safe, and teach us things. I would rather have rules in place then to learn a hard lesson any day of the week.

Adjust, learn, love, embrace: My story of adjusting to shoes.

My Story of Adjusting to Shoes:

Adjusting to shoes says so much more to me than adjusting to shoes. I moved from Champaign-Urbana, Illinois to the great town of Hamtramck, Michigan. Which is a two by two-mile city surrounded by Detroit. It is over flowing in the nations of the world, and it’s tiny city if I hadn’t mentioned it with about 23,000 people. It has opened my eyes and made me feel at home at the same time. It has it unique differences as well, which I love. I have been here for three weeks and what can I say? Being here I have been on the path of adjusting to being adjusted, learning to learn, and loving to be and to love.

Adjusting has been a trip. I have always been excited when I hear from God, but when he said, “Something new, and different.” He meant go to X-Min, and learn what Pastor Chilly has for you to learn. I didn’t realize how chilly the Detroit area was going to be, and how just totally awesome Pastor Chilly, and his team were. I thought it was going to be easy adjusting. One thing I had to adjust was my footwear. I despise shoes. I had to leave my flip flops behind, but just as Crystal Allen always says, “Embrace it, just embrace it!” So I did. It will be my all time motto. I will embrace and love whatever God puts my way. Shoes were his way of saying you are going to have to adjust to being adjusted.

I have been on a path of learning to learn. I have to be teachable. We have all heard it before, but how many of us have actually taken “be teachable” into practice? I hadn’t, ever. I thought I did, and that was my problem, I’m still working through it. I have learned so much in such a short, short amount of time. The other X-Min students and I are learning to die to ourselves. A month ago I didn’t think that was going to be first thing we learned, let me tell you, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I learned this past week how to be quick to apologize, to forgive and really forget. Realizing issues that were tucked away deep in your heart, burning, and creating bitterness are a lot easier to deal with when you give them to Jesus than I thought, hints why they were never dealt with. I leaned that it’s so relieving when we give them up, and forget. Jesus is rocking my socks off, literally.

I’ve had to tell myself every day, “Suck it up and love and serve like Jesus!” This past week was the Real Church five-year anniversary. In the midst of all of the craziness, that I would have no other way, Pastor Chilly had the Bible read through. I only knew it could be done on account of it being done before. 24/7 the word of God was being read out loud, and it was so good, and powerful, and just awesome. The last night we read through the remaining books it got more and more powerful, and each one of us took a chapter in Revelation. After we were done we all fell flat on our faces in awe. God met us in such a way that I have yet to encounter. He spoke to me and it was at that moment that everything I had been dealing with didn’t matter anymore. I realized that it has nothing to do with me; I had been making myself bigger and Jesus smaller! I needed to make Jesus the only focus and everything else will figure itself out.

So it all comes down to I love being here, I love learning, and I love the presence Jesus. Everyday so far I realize how great God is. I have found that in the morning I praying, “Today is not about me, Jesus let me serve like you.” All I had to do was adjust to shoes.

So adjust to your shoes, forget about yourself and put Jesus first.

(This is the only blog I will ever do that is this long. :) Thanks for reading.)

It's a start.

I'm starting a blog. YAY. Thanks Beez.